Today we went home from the hospital... Jamie and my dad came by last night to take all the flowers and stuff home for us, so today we just had to pack the kids up and get them home... The drive home wasn't as bad as I thought it would be, or I should say that I wasn't that nervous, also maybe because it was right down the street... But anyways we made it home and I was so excited to show them there house... First we took pictures of them in front of the house with the stork sign... Then took them upstairs to show them there room and finally sat down and just stared at them so more... Tonight Mark ran out to get my medication and something to eat for us it was like 8 pm... So this was the first time that I was all by myself with the twins, I told Mark that I could handle it and so he left, he did call me and check-in around 8:30pm and everything was going fine they were both sleeping... Then right after I hung up with him Brody woke up and was hungry so I started to feed him, So I get him on the boob and all of the sudden Drew woke up only she was just laying there looking at me... For some reason I don't know why I thought that I should feed her to... I was so confused she didn't even make a sound she was just looking at me and I made an attempt to pick her up while I was feeding Brody and I couldn't get her, So I put Brody down then he really started to scream because he wasn't finished eating and I made another attempt to get Drew and Brody at the same time... So I get Drew on the boob then I tryed to get Brody back on but couldn't so now that I messed with Drew now she does want to eat, they both were screaming and I started to cry so now everything in the matter of a minute has gone to hell, and I couldn't do anything and believe me I tryed every which way possible to get Drew & Brody feed, I swear it seemed like hours went by and finally the door opens and its Mark... He looked at me and was like whats going on... I was still crying and the kids were both still hungry now thanks to me and I was like can you please make bottles for me... He asked me what happened and I told him that Brody woke up and I started to feed him and than Drew woke up but she was just staring at me but I thought she was looking at me like hey what about me and I didn't want her to think that I choose Brody over her so I tryed to feed both at the same time but couldn't and as I am telling him this I am crying even more now feeling like the worst mom in the world... He just hugged me which was really want I needed at that time... I don't think I will ever forget that little face of her looking up to me... Her big blue eyes...
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